There’s nothing wrong with producer Joel Silver and director Robert Zemeckis wanting to recapture the glory days of horror with their Dark Castle production shingle. One would just think they’d have better judgment than Ghost Ship, a movie that’s almost irrepressible in its stupidity.
It starts off well enough, with large 1950s-style titles in large, pink cursive and an opening sequence as funny as it is macabre. But then it reverts to unending boredom, with a salvage boat crew claiming a ship they find to be haunted by angry ghosts.
Gruesome deaths are handed out on the same sort of efficient schedule that the film’s stars were given their paychecks. It’s a workmanlike production, with no surprises, no scares and no jokes — unless you count the demon that laments his job by saying he must gather enough souls to fill a quota. And you thought your Mondays were bad.