Movies You Aught Not Watch is Nick Rogers’ weekly, alphabetical look back at the 52 worst films of 2000 to 2009.

One unassailable movie truth of the Zeroes: Almost any movie headlined by a member of the Friends cast not named Jennifer Aniston would be akin to spending 90 minutes on the rack.

After 2002’s Serving Sara, Matthew Perry’s co-stars no doubt kneeled at his feet for the free pass. A buddy comedy co-starring Gallagher, Yakov Smirnoff and David Schwimmer or a sequel to Matt Leblanc’s Ed couldn’t have possibly been worse.

Joe (Perry) is a lackluster process server tracking Sara (Elizabeth Hurley), who’s been jilted by her no-good Texas rancher husband (Bruce Campbell). If Joe serves her divorce papers, he’ll get $5,000.

But if her husband is served first, Sara will get a better settlement, from which she promises Joe $1 million. They evade rival process servers and her ex’s violent security guard, all while falling for each other.

Did Jerry Stiller really need to crack wise about his poorly functioning prostate in three consecutive films? Handicapped and fat-kid jokes aside, the centerpiece was a protracted sequence involving Perry’s arm inside the business end of a bull.

Perry looks gravely ill, but not enough to feel sorry for him, as Joe is an utterly reprehensible scumbag. It’s rewarding to see him pummeled in the name of physical comedy.

And Hurley again smugly strutted her way through the material as though she were a natural born comedienne. She shouldn’t have taken the Estée Lauder people off speed-dial, although a product-placing first-act chase through one of their salons guaranteed a golden parachute.